Strip for Me, I'll Strip for You || TMI Tuesday

So it's a day late because I just found out about TMI Tuesday. For those of you who are new to it as well, it's a fun survey hosted at http://tmituesdayblog.wordpress.com/ once weekly where you answer some adult questions and then post a link to your own blog so others can view your answers.

1. Have you ever danced naked in front of anyone? What prompted the experience?
Yes, several times. I have played at being a stripper for partners before and it was usually motivated by their suggestion or me being inebriated.
2. Have you been to a strip club? Was it what you expected?
No, I haven't been to a strip club yet. Not interested in seeing women strip but I wanna see the boys get naked!
3. Have you ever been to an “amateur night” at a strip club?
Nope.
4. Do you think strip clubs are exploitative or are they misunderstood as simple adult entertainment venues?
They are both entertainment and exploitation, depending on who you're looking at. They exploit the hell out of the guys but they choose to go there and for the most part the women are the ones NOT exploited. After all, guys get ground on not much more than they will at the club if they find someone to dance with them and who hasn't seen titties before? But the women get to rake in cash. I wanted to be a stripper for a LONG time but never did.
5. Would you ever consider stripping to pay for college or other expenses?
Heck yes. For a long time I have wanted to be a stripper because of the earning potential and how easy the job is. I don't mind being naked and would love to get paid to just dance around! Of course I won't be doing that since my current partner wouldn't want me to and I am a transman who has already started transition, so I wouldn't stand to make much money at it now anyway.
6. Have you ever given your partner a private dance?
Yeah.
7. Would you ever perform a lap dance for a complete stranger?
If I was a stripper, duh.
8. Showgirls, Strip Tease, Magic Mike … What is the sexy Hollywood stripper scene you have ever YouTubed?
Magic Mike!!!! <33
What's Your Mantra This Year?
I've been going through a lot of changes this year. Everything I am doing is an attempt to get me closer to my goals, and I am proud to say that I have made more headway in the past six months than I have in the previous six years! That wouldn't have been possible if I hadn't decided to sit down and write exactly what I wanted to accomplish.

Most of us will write a list of goals that look something like this: get a promotion at work, buy a new car, see my friends more, start a yoga class. All of these little goals seem sort of disconnected, but if you look at the reasons WHY we want these things, often they will be related in some way. For example, you may want to get a promotion because you need more money, the money with which to buy that car. Perhaps instead of fighting for a promotion that will earn you money when you know that it will sap your energy and leave you with even LESS time to catch up with those friends you want to see, you should look at alternatives to buying a car. Perhaps you could rent one just on the days when you've got to go out of town to see faraway pals.

Looking for the deepest want behind the little day-to-day wants will help you cut through the unfulfilling completions (yay I got this new car but now I only drive it rarely so I am using it more and more to drive around locally, walking less and making me need that yoga class more when I wanted to be in better shape, not worse!)

For me, this meant coming to terms with the fact that I am transsexual. I have known this for a long time, but I was afraid to make a change in my life that might alienate me from friends and family or make my life harder. When I saw all of the little goals piling up (strength training, trying to get an Adonis Belt, taking non-testosterone hormone supplements to alter the appearance of my genitals, getting special devices to pee standing) I did some soul-searching with the help of my partner and some friends and realized that I needed to work toward my real desires, even if they seemed harder than the little side-stuff I was piling on.

This has improved my life in so many ways, one of the most noticeable being the way that I feel about myself. I have more confidence and inner strength, and emotionally I hold up to a lot more. The stress of denying my true identity is no longer upon me and I feel the relief of working toward my true goals rather than running rings around myself keeping up with the 'diet' goals; ie the stuff we try to 'tide ourselves over' with. Just like diet cookies sometimes do, they fill us up while leaving us craving the real thing, which doesn't do a lot of good.

This year my mantra is this: Stronger. I am stronger than I was before. I am stronger than I could have ever imagined I would be. Yes, things still affect me. I'm not superman, but I realize that i can be stronger than my problems and I can overcome the adversity that will come my way.

When I was younger I had a longer mantra I used to run through my mind for luck. Now I realize that it wasn't luck I was harnessing, but my own inner strength and I continue to draw upon both these days:
This world will bend and break around me,
Shape itself to suit my needs.
It certainly will, and it can for all of us, but only if we make it.
Filled in Every Hole! || Review of Fully Loaded Volume 3
Fully Loaded Volume 3 is a porn DVD produced by Red Light District. The disc itself has a red tint to the shiny backing rather than leaving it plain reflective silver as most other DVDs are, and this makes it instantly recognizable to those who are familiar with the brand. On the front is a picture of a woman lifting her shirt up as though about to take it off.
   
The quality of the film is very good. While not high-def and not quite as crisp as the Elegant Angel and Evil Angel DVDs of the past few years it is still higher resolution than most television shows being broadcast and does come very close to that higher standard. All of the women are attractive, and while unfortunately most of the men in straight porn are not attractive, these ones all had very nice bodies, even those who were a little bit rougher in the face. I would honestly have to say that the oldest man in the film was probably the fittest and seemed more sculpted than many people I know who exercise!

The movie begins with a guy waiting around because a girl is supposed to be coming to meet him. The camera man goes to look for her and finds her on the floor, sucking off a man sitting in a chair. The camera man begins talking to her, exclaiming that she wasn't supposed to be fooling with that guy and reminds her that there is someone else waiting, but she insists that she wants the dude she is with. In a very short time she is convinced to come to the other room and have sex with both of them, which she does eagerly, sucking their cocks and then taking them in her mouth, pussy, and ass. This sets the tone for the entire movie, which has plenty of threesomes and foursomes as well as penetration of every hole.
   
While there is the typical pornstar gagging during oral (which inevitably leads to deepthroating in Red Light District's films) the girls all seem to enjoy it the whole time and even love having their asses and breasts smacked while they're being filled in every imaginable way. In some of the scenes the girls even play with dildos before letting their eager male suitors have what they want, which is clearly an orgy and plenty of switching holes.

I must say that I absolutely love the fact that the entire movie is condom free, which I know is a big no-no for some people, but for those who require 'raw-dogging' in their fantasy sex, this could be the film for you! The main reason I bought it is that there were plenty of internal cumshots and I am a huge fan of creampies. Shooting the load somewhere (or worse, finishing with oral!) just doesn't do it for me.

Things that you should be aware of before watching this movie: the lack of condoms and internal cumshots could bother people who prefer non-messy or protected sex; and there is some behind- and chest-slapping in this movie, though nothing violent enough or pervasive enough to be called BDSM of any sort;  the guys frequently have the girl 'taste herself' off of their cocks, meaning pussy-to-mouth and ass-to-mouth. This is porn and everyone has been thoroughly cleaned out so there is nothing messy about that, but they do make a point of telling her and showing it repeatedly, so this could be a turnoff for some.

All in all, I would've liked a little less repeating phrases from the guys and more grunting or moaning, as well as more toy-play from the girls (though any toys at all in a generalized porn was a big positive step!) and would have preferred less ass to mouth, but it was a very enjoyable movie and I am glad that I got it!

Pros: plenty of creampies, high movie quality, sexy cast

Cons: a little more ass-to-mouth than I like, I prefer a bit brighter 'costumes' even just fishnet

Summary: This is a very good porn with attractive people, high video quality, and plenty of internal cumshots. It's more exciting than many of the non-fetish material on the market today and doesn't have anything really freaky but if ass-to-mouth bothers you then you may want to skip this one.

Rating: 4/5
Finally, a Male Stroker! || Review of Butt Banger by Cal Exotics


Anyone who enjoys using strokers (guys and transguys, as well as women who play with them with their hands or tongues or by rubbing) will have noticed by now that nearly all realistic strokers are designed to look like mouths or pussies, with the rare ass thrown in. Usually those asses are a simple hole on the end of a tube because otherwise they seem to always be attached to a curvy, feminine form complete with a vagina or breasts. Now there is finally a stroker for those who love playing with men, the Butt Banger.

Use:

The Butt Banger is a stroker, also known as a masturbation sleeve, though the sleeves known as strokers generally have more shape and detail than the sleeves, which are often a simple tube with a bit of texture on the inside. It is designed to stimulate the penis by inserting it into an opening at one end, while a much smaller hole at the other end creates suction. The textures on the inside provide added stimulation, although some sleeves and strokers are designed without internal texture.

The Butt Banger was designed with a tight anus, having a much smaller hole than many other strokers do. For some of the more well-endowed men this could mean that the toy will rip sooner than one with a larger hole, but for guys with smaller cocks (myself and other transgender men included) the tightness means that it will grip your dick properly for better stimulation.

For me, the appearance of the stroker itself was the main reason I was interested in buying it. Unlike nearly every other masturbation sleeve on the market, this one is designed as a male partner rather than female. Sure, you could always use one of the mouth toys and it wouldn't really make a difference, but I am not much a fan of oral, at least not as anything more than simple foreplay. You could also use one of the abstract designs, such as the simple purple jelly sleeve or something like that but to me the realism is a huge factor in sexiness and really piques my interest so I could not have been more delighted that there was a man's ass and cock designed as the basis of this masturbator.




Material/Texture:

This stroker is made from California Exotic's Soft Touch Material, which was new when the product was designed in 2000. It is rubber based. While it is Latex free and Phthalate free it is still a very porous material which makes it less sanitary than silicone. You wouldn't want to share this with a friend and it is important to wash it after each and every use to get it completely clean. The super soft material is meant to feel incredibly lifelike and be an affordable skinlike material, a description it meets quite well. Aside from a very slight powdery feeling it is exactly like real skin.

The Soft Touch Material is very pliable but not overly squishy. I have used a stroker made from futurotic material and found that it was so soft it simply squished when I tried to work my cock into it and I felt very little because there wasn't any resistance. With this however there is the spring back of actual skin and it is still accommodating enough to stretch around you comfortably.

Internally there is a lightly ribbed texture, narrow raised bands which are fairly close together. Being on the small side, I enjoyed how the texture was close together and oft-repeating, rather than widely spaced which I would have missed out on.

The toy has a very faint rubbery smell but no taste to it. Unless you've got your nose right up against the Butt Banger then you're not going to notice the scent at all.




Shape/Design/Size/Fit:

The Butt Banger is designed in the shape of a man's torso as well as his hips and upper legs, ass, balls and penis. Even though the hips are wider than the main body of the toy, all of the contours are fairly straight which gives it a completely masculine look. the butt is nicely rounded, not exagerrated in size or anything like that, and the cock is positioned pointing backward between his legs, pushing the balls upward slightly. Overall, the design is simplified but much more detailed than many other strokers on the market and it has a lot of little details which are really appealing, such as the raised line between the balls and up the perenium as well as the circumcized veiny cock. The penis and testicles are very large in comparison to the little guy's body but that was also very appealing to me, especially considering how teeny and almost negligible they would've been if designed proportionately.

This stroker is 8 inches long, though part of this is the cock and balls. I found that I could fit something a bit over 5 inches into it without having it stick out the back end, so if you're a longer guy who needs to be balls-deep then you are going to want a longer toy. If, however, you love the manly design and details then you will love this toy, even without being able to fit all of your cock in at once.

As I mentioned before, the anal passage is extremely tight which could be uncomfortable for some very well-endowed men, and even a guy who is average in size may find that this wears out or gets little tears sooner than a looser toy would, so this is definitely for guys who like very tight asses, guys with less girthy cocks, and transmen.




Care and Maintenance:

Due to the nature of the Soft Skin material, this toy should not be shared with anyone else. It cannot be completely sterilized because it is somewhat porous, so wash very thoroughly with soap and water and then allow it to dry, but don't expect it to come all the way clean if you get it dirty beyond what would occur during normal use.

If you'd like to make sure that your stroker lasts as long as possible, after drying it off use some talc powder and give it a light dusting all over, including inside. This will preserve the flexibility of the materials to prevent damage.





Packaging:

The Butt Banger comes in a simple cardboard box. The outside is fairly unimpressive, looking like it could have been designed long, long ago. The guy on the packaging looks like he may be a porn star from the nineties or perhaps act in a soap opera, and the lettering and color schemes did not seem very eye-catching to me. It does show the toy itself however which is really all you should be buying something for, not the box it comes in, so that makes up for the design.

The box is not discreet at all, but it is very minimal: a simple cardboard outside and then just a bag holding the toy within. There is very little information on the package other than the fact that the stroker is made from Soft Touch material and that it should not be shared with other people and rubber-safe lubricants are the onle ones which you should use with the Butt Banger.





Rating:
5/5 Stars!!


Pros:

Male design, very detailed and attractive package, tight with good internal texture


Cons:

May be too tight for some men


Summary:


This is a fantastic toy. As a transman, I always have difficulty finding strokers which will work well for me but so far this is my absolute favorite. I am gay, so I love that it is designed to look like a man rather than a woman, and the very tight anus is perfect for gripping my pre-op cock. This is one of the all-around best strokers I have found for transgender males.
Hoppin' Good Time! || Review of CalExotics My First Jack Rabbit



My First Jack Rabbit is a dual stimulation toy designed by California Exotic Novelties, also known as California Exotics or Cal Exotic. The shaft is insertible and the rabbit-shaped attachment provides external stimulation at the same time to the clitoris. Most studies have supported the idea that while women can climax from internal stimualtion, especially stimulation of the g-spot, not all women can and even those who are able to often have an easier time when their clit gets some attention too.

With this toy, it doesn't matter what your preference or what your body is used to because you can get both at once without the difficulties brought on by using multiple toys. (Every time I tell myself, "Never again!" but I keep expecting it to be less of a hassle even though this has never been so. Rabbit toys are so much easier to use!)

Obviously, this toy is designed with women in mind and men will likely want a dildo or vibrator without the attachment, as it would be getting in the way and could get uncomfortable around their bums or balls.


Stats
Length: 11"
Useable Length: 5"
Diameter: 1 3/4"
Circumference: 5"



Packaging

The Jack Rabbit comes in a cardboard box which has a cutout in the shape of the toy on the front so that you can see the Rabbit vibe inside. It provides some basic information, such as the fact that the toy is soft and waterproof as well as that it has reverse rotation and metal beads.

The model on the box is pretty typical of sex toy packaging: a blond woman in rabbit ears and a thong with a bunny tail on it, more likely to pique a man’s interest than the women who are, after all, the ones usually buying dual-stim vibes. It isn’t distasteful in any way, but I do think switching up the models and packages would make things a lot more interesting and appealing to me.



On the back is a diagram showing all the features of the toy and explaining how to use the controls. Inside of the package, the Jack rabbit is held in place by a plastic insert.

The box certainly isn’t discreet and is not strong enough for long term storage, but it is fairly minimal, contains a lot of information, and gives you a good look at the rabbit in the package.




Material

The Jack Rabbit is made of TPR Jelly material, which is soft and flexible. Unlike some other jelly toys, this one had no detectable taste or odor when I examined it. Due to the nature of the materials, it cannot be 100% sanitized as silicone can be. When cleaning your toy, I recommend using a toy cleansing spray or wipes instead of relying on plain soap and water with this material.


Texture and Firmness


The Jack Rabbit is a very smooth, supple toy. The jelly is flexible and soft enough that even very rigorous thrusting wouldn’t cause discomfort.

The metal beads in the shaft are very noticeable during use but coated in the same layer of jelly so they feel nice and smooth as they roll and ripple within the shaft.



Shape and Size


My First Jack Rabbit is a very well designed vibrator. The shaft is longer than you see on many rabbit vibrators yet it does not surpass the length of the average dildo. I had long ago given up on finding an affordable rabbit with over 3.5" of insertible length but this one is about 5" which is absolutely perfect. It's also good for a light stretch as the girth is just over that of the average penis.

The toy itself is 11” long but it is lightweight and maneuverable so that is unlikely to cause any issue during use.

The entire toy looks like a long, hot pink penis with a little cartoony rabbit clinging to the side, ears sticking straight up in the air, and a slightly larger area at the bottom, where the batteries and controls are.

The rabbit is connected to the shaft by a layer of jelly, leaving him free to contour against your body for a natural fit, unlike some of the more rigid designs such as the Lelo and Jopen toys which fit a much more limited range of women.


Lube Compatibility
The Jack Rabbit is safe to use with any variety of lubricant.


Power Source


The Jack Rabbit runs on Three AAA batteries which must be purchased separately as none are included with the toy. The bottom of the shaft is the 'control panel' where you can turn the toy on or off, change functions, or screw off the bottom cap to change the batteries.



Functionality

The Jack Rabbit is very user-friendly and has a simple and intuitive interface. On the control panel at the bottom of the shaft there are four buttons controlling the features.

The first button, marked ON/OFF controls power to the main body of the toy. Press once to turn it on and again when you want to turn it off.

The second button, marked R/L controls whether the beads in the shaft rotate to the left or to the right.

The third button, marked ON/OFF, controls power to the rabbit extension. Having it controlled separately from the shaft is very convenient and a feature I have always been a fan of for those times when one or the other may be just too intense but you just don't want to put the toy away.

The fourth button, marked HI/LO controls the speed.

Care and Cleaning

My First Jack Rabbit Vibe is easily cleaned with soap and water. It has electrical components, so you cannot put it into the dishwasher or boil it, but you can get a thorough cleaning by either using Swiss Navy's antibacterial, antifungal, antiviral, antimicrobial toy cleaner or by sterilizing it with toy cleaning wipes which are available online or in some stores.

 Experience

When I first opened my Jack Rabbit, I was very surprised by the size of it. Usually Rabbit type toys are the same length overall, but the length which can be inserted is usually much less, barely over three inches in some cases. The Jack Rabbit on the other hand does not fail to deliver in the size department. It also has a good amount of girth to it which is very important to me when looking for a toy.

Delighted with the find, I raced upstairs and grabbed my AAA batteries, ready to test it out. When turning the Jack Rabbit on it was a little noisy but I had been expecting it to be louder than it was, so no love lost there. I played with the controls for a few minutes and made sure I had everything figured out.

The vibrations carry very will through the shaft and extremely well through the bunny clit attachment. That’s often the case with jelly toys and they will usually be stronger than a silicone toy of similar quality because the jelly is pliable enough not to muffle anything.

The rotating balls in the shaft roll smoothly in either direction with no jamming. The only thing that would make this toy better is if it had a thrusting function as well, but as-is it is a wonderful toy.



Intensity:
3/5 for the shaft, 4/5 for the "tickler" extension. I liked how nice and rumbly the vibrations were up the shaft, definitely one of the better-made toys out there. The rabbit is also very strong. It wasn't too much for me to handle and I believe most women would really enjoy it, but if you are extra sensitive to clitoral stimulation this may not be the toy for you because it doesn't have multiple settings as far as the bunny is concerned. If you do like strong clit vibes, give this one a try and you'll be glad you did.

Volume:
3/5. All in all, this is a pretty quiet toy considering that it has two motors running inside of it rather than just one. Still, if you share your home and aren't alone there is a pretty good chance that the noise would be a slight audible buzzing from another room. Definitely one you would want to cover up with noise from television or music.

Pros

Strong motor, affordable, perfect shape/size for me, nice girth, no noticeable scent

Cons

Made of jelly rather than silicone, a little on the noisy side (though not bad for a rabbit), slightly bulky control panel which I feel could've been slimmed down some by just having it flush with the shaft and putting buttons on it.


Summary

All in all I was very pleased with the Jack Rabbit. It has a wonderfully smooth and somewhat squishy texture to it that feels great against the skin while remaining sturdy due to the internal mechanisms. It may not be as powerful as some of the other vibes on the market but it is strong enough for the average user.


FTC Statement: The My First Jack Rabbit was provided to Exquisite Sensations for free by Babeland in exchange for a review. Affiliate links have been used. This has not affected the opinions within the review and complies with FTC standards.


Dulce De Leche BabeLicious Lube Review

BabeLicious is Babeland's flavored personal lubricant produced by them in four different flavors. I received Dulce De Leche but it also comes in Mojito Peppermint, Pomegranate Vanilla, and Chocolate Orange. At this point I have not tried any of the others yet, but my next-in-line appealing one would probably be Pomegranate Vanilla. My partner doesn't like pomegranates so he would prefer trying Chocolate Orange. I think we will definitely be ordering Babelicious in the future.


I've never had Dulce De Leche cake dessert before, but I have tried the Dulce De Leche ice cream in a pint once and really enjoyed it, so  I was very enthusiastic about trying this flavor.



Glycerin-Free
Babelicious lubes are all glycerin-free, which means that they are safe for you to use on your genitals, including for oral sex or penetrative sex. Most flavored lubricants do have glycerin in them however and could cause yeast infections in women who are prone to them. Glycerin also has a laxative effect if used anally. Being glycerin-free means that BabeLicious lube is one of the rare fully-sex-safe flavored lubricants.




Paraben-Free
Babelicious Lubricants are also paraben-free. It is important to avoid parabens in sex toys because the genital area has many mucous membranes, which will easily absorb chemicals leaching out of toys. Parabens have been linked to allergic reactions, breast cancer, and estrogenic effects similar to those of BPA.

Compatible Toy Materials:
Babelicious is water-based, which means that it is safe to use with any type of sex toy material, even silicone.

The Bottle:
The Dulce De Leche lubricant comes in a medium-sized 2oz bottle. It has a pop-open cap with a small hole in the center to help modulate the amount you dispense.



Taste:
I have only tasted flavored lube once before and hadn't been particularly thrilled with it, but the idea of a flavored lubricant appealed to me and I was motivated to try it again so I spent a lot of time prowling around online for an appealing lube with delicious-sounding flavors.

I was pleased that the Babelicious Dulce De Leche had so much flavor! It was definitely more powerful than a flavored lip balm though not as strong as the food itself would have tasted. The flavor was very pleasant and I ended up wanting to use it again the next time I was with my partner. It's now become a bedside staple.

Color:
The color of the Dulce De Leche lube is a light tawny color, primarily transparent.

Scent: 
When you're dispensing the lube you don't really smell it and I didn't detect a scent to the bottle when I first got it, probably due to the secure way it was sealed. After being in a bedside drawer for a few days that whole drawer began to smell like candy and it's always a pleasant surprise to catch a whiff of Caramel when I reach in for something.

Consistency:
The Babelicious lubricant isn't sticky at all. It's got a very smooth and almost watery consistency similar to what I have come to expect from water-based lubes but a little bit thicker so that it sort of sits in a gel layer.

Oral Use:
Ordinarily I am not very fond of performing oral. It's just not my thing, but I was willing to try different varieties of lube that may make it more fun or enjoyable. The first time I used Babelicious I really enjoyed it and every time then after was just as fun as the first.

This has definitely made a positive impact on my sex life and I am sure my partner appreciates it as well!

Unlike other lubes which would sometimes (accidentally) get in my mouth, this one doesn't cause any unpleasant sensations. Other lubes sometimes cause tingling, numbness, rapid saliva production, etc but there weren't any drawbacks to using this lube, it's perfect for anyone wanting to add a little flavor to their sex life!

Penetrative Use:
After oral my partner and I had sex without applying any more lubricants so we could see how Babelicious did as a lube when there was more friction. Overall I would say I like it just as well as any other lubricant for that purpose, but it's so tasty I would rather save it for when I will enjoy it the most.


Pros: Tastes very good, safe with all toy materials, no odor, doesn't leave a stain, perfect for oral OR penetrative purposes, glycerin-free and paraben-free

Cons: None that I found

Summary: This lube was perfect for every possible usage and didn't raise any concerns. It is the most body-friendly lube I have ever used and I will definitely be sticking with this brand in the future.




FTC Statement: 
The Dulce De Leche BabeLicious Lubricant was provided to Exquisite Sensations by 
Babeland in exchange for a review. Affiliate links have been used. This has not affected the opinions within the review and complies with FTC standards.
Guide to Safe Stretching


If you've read my Tumblr post here you've come in search of the full article. If not, I recommend you checking out my Tumblr because I update it a bit more often than my blog because I will sometimes put up just a little picture or a short update, and it has a link to my Twitter account as well as notifying you whenever I post something up on my blog.

At any rate, this post is a How-To Guide on how to safely stretch yourself to take larger toys, whether you enjoy playing vaginally or anally.

Many people who enjoy penetrative sex, whether with a partner or not, whether with a toy or a cock or a finger, may enjoy the feeling of fullness or stretching. Sometimes you get used to the size you are accustomed to and would like something a bit bigger, or want a new toy but know it's larger than what you've been practicing with.

At the same time, there is a misconception that by having anything large inside yourself, you risk "becoming loose". While many people may believe that, it is simply not true. It's mostly a concern people have about vaginal sex, but it applies to anal too.



The Myth: If you keep putting things inside yourself, eventually your body will stretch to accommodate them and you will stop being tight and become "loose".

The Truth: There are many people who enjoy very frequent penetration while still remaining quite tight. In fact, if your body could not "spring back" from having things inside it, there would be no "potty trained" adults. We would all be so loose from the hundreds of times we have had bowel movements that none of us would be able to control our bathroom habits or "hold it" when we need to go.



All About Muscles
As you can see in the chart above, the anus and vagina are each surrounded by muscles. That is because even though they are both entries into the body, they are composed of rings of muscles.

Muscles can expand as well as contract. Take your right arm and extend it out straight. The bicep is expanding, while the tricep contracts. Now take your elbow and bend it so your hand touches your shoulder. The tricep expands and bicep contracts, each switching their role to help you make the next movement.

No matter how many times you do that, neither your bicep nor your tricep will ever become "loose" and remain in the expanded position.


Your Genital Muscles
The muscles of the vagina and the anus work the same way. When you slowly insert something large, you are expanding that muscle- stretching it out, and when you do Kegel exercises by squeezing tightly like you are trying to stop the flow of urine or prevent a bowel movement, you are contracting those muscles.

If you are worried that you will lose some muscle tone, simply practice your Kegels to keep the muscles nice and strong. Just like a muscle in any other part of the body, healthy PC muscles should be able to expand and contract without an issue.



When Problems Arise
The only time that your muscles cannot contract properly is if they have been torn. When the muscle rips, there can be little gaps in between the fibers and these will eventually form scar tissue to hold everything together. The more times your muscles rip, the more scar tissue will form.

Picture a double stuffed Oreo cookie. Instead of having a tiny, thin amount of white filling it has a whole lot. The cookie has a wider space between each half.

Now picture each time someone stretches too roughly, without enough lube, too quickly and forms scar tissue. That scar tissue is healing them, but it takes up space in addition to the muscle that was already there. Eventually the ring of muscle can have a lot more material around it in a circle, forming an O instead of an o.




So What Do I Do?
If you want to stretch yourself to take large toys easily and without a problem, you need to make sure you do not hurt yourself so your body will not make scar tissue. That is a very simple thing to remember, but unfortunately sometimes people do not have the patience to go slowly, or they do not use enough lube, or they force things to fit which their body is not ready for.

Step One:
You need to be calm and relaxed. Muscle tightness and spasms are an involuntary reaction to stress, tension and general lack of relaxation. Do whatever it takes to put you in a good frame of mind. Play music you enjoy, take a hot bath first, lay around and relax, ask your partner for a massage, use lotion, anything.

It can also help to be feeling sexy, so if lingerie or a steamy book or erotic movie will help, go for it! Remember to really give it your all. This isn't frivolous and your mental state really does have an impact on how your body will react.

Step Two:
Get yourself ready. Make sure you have a lot of lube on hand, perhaps one or two different varieties, as well as a variety of smaller toys which you know you can take, and the one you are working up toward. If you do not have any toys small enough to use, try starting out with a finger or two and eventually you can see how many fingers you can fit into yourself.

Do not force anything into you. If it doesn't fit, let it go. Stop, you can always try again later. It helps to have toys with a rounded or tapered end, like the ones shown at the top of the page.

Bad Dragon also makes a toy called The Tailstretcher, which is a very gradual slope from narrowest to thickest and you can slowly and carefully begin putting it deeper and deeper into you, which will mean you are taking thicker and thicker girth.

Step Three:
Begin by lubing yourself up very well. There is literally no such thing as too much lube. You cannot use so much lube that it hurts you, but using too little can cause friction that prevents your body from stretching well.

Do not use glycerin-based lubes as they can cause yeast infections in some women and can have a laxative effect if used anally.You also do not want to use a silicone-based lubricant with a silicone toy. Only use water-based lubricants with silicone toys and save silicone-lube for skin to skin contact or toys not made from silicone.

Once you have lubed yourself thoroughly, proceed to lubricate the toy as well. This is to minimize friction as much as possible.

Step Four:
Taking things very slowly, work in your finger. Only as much as you feel comfortable with. If it gets uncomfortable at all, stop and hold still. If you feel a lot of discomfort or even the most minimal amount of pain, stop and remove your finger.

For those who are already used to larger objects, start off with a toy in a size that you know you can take with no discomfort.

After a while, you will begin to feel completely comfortable with whatever you are using. Only when you feel 100% comfortable and no longer feel like you are being stretched, move up to something slightly larger.

Step Five:
Each time you feel like you can take more, repeat the process. Add a little lube to yourself if you could use any, and always lube the new toy up really well or put more lube on your hand if stretching yourself out with your fingers.

If you stop and decide to start again the next day or later on in the week, you will notice that you cannot start off where you ended the last session. That is excellent news! It means you haven't formed scar tissue and your muscles tightened back up, so you can slowly and gently stretch them out again. Always be kind to your body and never do something you aren't ready for. As long as you take it slow and easy you will always be able to keep using large toys without damaging your body or sacrificing your tightness.


My Experience (Pretty Detailed):
I have been experimenting with stretching out and taking large toys for a while now. Initially anything 6" or more in girth was a massive challenge for me. It could take me half and hour to work up to that girth, but over time I have been able to work up to it in 15-20 minutes, though it always takes warm up. That's fine with me because I have also maintained my tightness.

Until I met my current partner I would never have considered myself a size queen (or king for that matter), but we have been experimenting with fisting through time. Initially it was impossible for me to take his entire fist but through gentle stretching over time I am now able to be fisted, and it is not painful at all.

This has taught me a lot about patience and listening to my body. Sometimes it can take up to 60 minutes for him to work his entire fist into me, and I am perfectly fine with it. Other days we can do it in 20 or 30 minutes, however it never seems to take less time than that.

There are days when he can work on stretching me for upwards of an hour and my body simply will not cooperate at that point in time, which is fine. We listen to my body and respect my limitations and I always keep moving forward.

Remember, patience and persistence is key and if you treat your body right, it will work out for you :)
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